Beyond limitations

I have heard some guys declare that they won’t ever pursue any serious (marital) relationship until they can easily afford certain amounts of money. Recently, a female friend expressed how annoyed she gets whenever she hears about (good) guys who delay pursuing a relationship with the girls of their ‘dreams’ because they feel they do not have the money to do so. I understand the source of my friend’s annoyance, but I’m not exactly annoyed by such. I’m rather more or less disappointed. My disappointment brews from the fact that such a guy has limited both his ability and the ability of his woman. I believe in the strength of a woman to support her man to success. I equally believe in the strength of a man to pursue his dreams. I have also seen women support their men unto greatness, and men attain success by consistently pursuing their dreams. I also know that money is something that we can never have enough of, such that what you think is a lot today can really be minute tomorrow. With these in view, I think it is unfairness to oneself to accept limitations because of money.

Money is very important. Currently, there’s little that can be bought on earth without money, and sometimes, having a lot of it enables one to achieve much. So, I can understand what it feels like for a guy when he has little, yet is interested in pursuing a serious relationship. I however know that more important than money in such a relationship is the matter of consent and agreement. Have you asked the girl out? Did she refuse because you do not have money? I really doubt that a (reasonable) girl that likes a guy will refuse to start a relationship with him because he doesn’t have money. In fact, I know a lot of cases where the girl takes it upon herself to assist her man in birthing wealth. She may delay getting married until you guys are able to afford some basic things, but she’ll hardly ever refuse starting a relationship with a man she likes because of that. So, before you as a guy starts deciding things like this, just ask first. She may even not like you that much. Is this not even more important (and painful) than not having money? So, imagine you’ve spent two years making money to impress a girl to start a relationship and then she lets you know that she isn’t interested. How useful/less would that make you feel? Before you announce to yourself that girls of these days like money, let me help to ask you, “do you want ‘girls of these days’ or do you want your own woman?”

Before you start limiting yourself to the strength of money, may you realise that it may not even be the money you think you have or do not have that your woman seeks. Are you responsible? That may be more important to her. Do you have integrity? She may prefer that to a million bucks. Do you have a good relationship with God? That may be the most important thing to her. So, be sure you know that having money isn’t having everything. Moreover, if you can chase a thousand (dollars) alone, with her, you’ll be able to chase ten thousand.

By the way, what if she has more money? What follows? You detest her for having what you are yet to have? Please don’t be like this. Please don’t let money determine such things for you. Be beyond limitations. Be great. Be courageous. Take a step of faith, and with God, all things will work together for good.

God bless you.

N.B: ‘guys’ and ‘girls’ have been used in the same sense as ‘ladies’ and ‘gentle men’.


Today has been great, and I’ve been very glad.
I woke up happy and stayed excited.
I’ve been blessed with good words, good prayers and good deeds, and for this, I’m grateful.

I’m glad for whom I am becoming, and I’m glad that I’m able to live in every moment. I’m thankful that I’m better on all grounds, and still hopeful for the best.

Today is a good day.
I have been blessed, surely.
And for these, I’m grateful.

Thanks to everyone that joined to celebrate me today. God has blessed you abundantly.

+1 and forging ahead!!!

Dear brother, I have prospects

Once, while chatting with a friend, we shared a joke where he asked me to marry him and I asked if he would give me 25 million Naira in return, then he replied saying no because at the moment he only had prospects- and could give me that and more in the ‘future’. After laughing together, I told him I was going to blog about it. So, this in part fulfils my promise and in another part, leads me to talking about my understanding of prospects.

I think we all have good or bad prospects. I also think young (unmarried) men are usually anxious about how they are perceived by females in terms of their prospects, especially when they feel that the females are beautiful.
I often barge into Facebook posts where young men ‘shade'(and accuse) young women for not accepting them because they do not have money/material possession . I do not think this is the reason for sane/sensible ladies. I think women and men alike do not accept the people that they do not like. If a lady likes a man, she’ll follow him. It’s that simple. If a lady is following you as a man because of your money, dear young man, be very wary or you’ll be doomed in a matter of time. You don’t have to ‘promise’ her heaven on earth, she knows she’ll get it with or without you in most cases. Just state your intent and let her accept or reject it. If she accepts, Fine. If she doesn’t, Fine. There’s one woman somewhere praying to God for a man like you, so just pray to meet her. Focus your energy on being the greatest you that can be, and not on pleasing a girl that doesn’t like you or that doesn’t understand your worth. Her rejection doesn’t make you a bad person, nor does it make her a bad person. It just makes two of you unsuitable for each other. So the next time you have to convince someone about being “prospective”, please, just move on instead to more productive activities.

However, if you feel that you deserve a girl because you think she is beautiful, better be sure that you have entrapped yourself to something very meagre. Beauty is very vain. Matter of fact, you’ll soon stop noticing- you’ll be so used to it that you’ll start expecting more. And more so, she’ll feel very entitled to your resources just ‘cos of her beauty. Is that what you want?

Dear brother, we all have prospects. Just chose the prospects that match yours and work with that. Life is supposed to be this simple.

Lessons of life: Birthing Freshness

About yesterday/two days ago, I decided to return to my concept of healthy living through eating as close to natural (and as seasonal) as possible, letting go of anxieties, studying/meditating on God’s word and getting enough rest for my body. This has already started helping me to eliminate ‘toxicity’ and waste from my mind and my body, and I’m already feeling energized more than I would ordinarily have. These ‘results’ are however, not entirely new to me as I have previously (about 2 years ago) subconsciously gone on a healthy/natural journey. But because I wasn’t so intentional/earnest with it, I got distracted along the line. But since this is my season of ‘intentionality’, I have decided on also being intentional about my mental and physical health. It also occurred to me yesterday that because I ‘naturally’ do very well in whatever I commit my heart to/determine in my heart to do, that my chances of doing well in this (and in any other stuff, really), are high (so long as I stay/remain committed to doing them).
Today again, while trying to consider why I may have been unable to sleep well, to achieve my daily goals and other related stuff, some very little ‘solutions’ began to drop into my mind: change (and wash) your beddings weekly, don’t repeat nightwear and day clothes (wash them daily), bath nightly, wash your ‘undies’ every day and other seemingly ‘personal-hygiene stuffs’. But this may be of greater effect than I can imagine, especially because a lack of doing these is usually as a result of ‘little foxes’: like a little tiredness here and there. And since it is the ‘little foxes that destroy the vine’, I may have to starve the current ones to death, and create NO room for more to come. I really hope this becomes a habit. I hope to take it a day at a time; rising immediately I fall.
As usual, I hope you join me along this journey of good intentions and actions in this 2017. God bless us all.

1. You may have learnt that if you really want me to do anything, just get me to ‘buy the market’ (that is, buy into the ‘vision’). LOL
2. If you have some thoughts about my use of synonyms/similar words together, just also consider me to be your Amplified version of the bible today. I really hope you get this joke
3. If we take some time to really pay attention to ourselves, we will discover a whole lot about us, and about how much we can (not) do.
4. I am squarely facing getting over an old bad habit. I may have to re-birt new habits over it, and starve it to death.
Ciao tutti!

Dear Bae, hoping for much better days.

2 things sadden me right now. First, my hair, and then, my phone.
Since the better part of last week, I have been desiring to braid my hair with ‘attachments’, mostly to keep my natural hair out of the way for a while, and then, to look beautifully different. I had a very slim budget for it: 3k financial, a couple of hours of finding a befitting place, and then, some more hours for making the hair- roughly 8-10hors and 3k. Dear bae, I spent 5k and about 80 hours- at least 74hours were spent in anxiety! I consumed my poor mind with where to get a good hair done with a 3k financial budget within Lekki-Ajah (for about 3 whole days or more). Then, I got a place at Ikota shopping complex yesterday, and spent about six hours making ‘feathers’ for 5k. As in, from 3k to 5k! Not funny. Worse, I don’t like the hair. This salon spoke a good game, but the outcome is just very ordinary. The only thing I enjoyed was their clean toilet, which I used only once. I was angry about the hair, but typical me, I smiled, said thank you, took their numbers and left. To add that they refused to ‘on gen’, and made me make my hair in heat until NEPA brought the light (because to them, 3k was too small a money), chai! Anyway, the lady that made my hair pulled softly, and I almost didn’t feel pain, until a second person joined and it almost gave me the ‘grains.
I am more angry (working on doucing it), that I spent more than my financial budget for such an ordinary hair. I felt so used when I saw the done deal. Actually, I started hating the hair when the braiding started taking shape, cause I saw everything, courtesy of the mirror that was ever before me.
If I had money right now, I’ll walk into a good (in deeds) natural hair salon, lose it, and twist my natural hair, and be HAPPY. Gosh, I feel very bad. Who put me up to this? I’m already crying (can you hold me for a second while I shed tears of disappointment). They talked such a good game that I was expecting the hair to blow my mind- but it’s just very ordinary. And to think that I almost doubled my financial budget for it! And to add that they wanted to charge me about 8k o! Kai, had I spent 8k on this hair, I might just have been heart broken.

To stretch this sadness, this Z10 started acting up. I hadn’t subscribed for a while, and immediately I did, it started misbehaving. It has shown me the ‘bb error…/20, flat battery with exclamation marks, and gone off and on at will’, just in about 18hours! Gosh, this is a (new) gift, and I’m not happy about this. What’s currently paining me more is that it’s currently working as a telephone: I have to constantly plug it to electricity to continue using it, if I take it out, it goes off! I’m very sad. God, please make things better.
In fact, I’ll just work hard and make the money for a good (i)phone. God!

Anyway, I’m glad this is a new day. I hope it takes away the sorrows of yesterday. I hope I do not ever get anxious for any (trivial) thing. I hope I do not fall prey to good game talkers, and I hope to commit to success.
I’m sad, but it will be better. I will it to be better.
Help me bae, help me. Help your dear bae.
Ma bi nu, contribute to my happiness. Getting some dollars in their hundreds will make some real sense now, I swear! Abeg, consider your bae.
Mmuah! Much kisses and hugs dear.

Being proactive, even with our reactions

Pro activity in this sense should entail being in charge of and intentional with/about our actions. In a cluster which I’m a part of, I listened to a woman speak about, and place value on intentionally loving your spouse when he appears to be un-lovable, for instance, while he is annoying you. I let this sink into me, and decided, in alignment with my decision to be intentional this year, to be intentional about my actions, even when I have to react to a given (unpleasant) situation. I consider this to be a form of pro activity.

I decided to be more alert in situations which I have to react to, so that things do not take me unawares; so that my actions proceed from the good/loving situations of my heart, and not from a seeming ‘turbulence’ in my head; so that I take responsibility for whatever decisions I may have to take in the face of situations needing my response. In this way, I do not have to turn back in regret, but in hope of good outcome-s, considering that I have put in my ‘best’ (or responsible action).

If I may extend such pro activity to my other business-es, then, it means that I’d always have to stay on top of my game, making sure that decisions are being churned out of wisdom, and not out of disgust or weary. I hope we all get better at taking charge of our emotions as much as we can. All the best to us.

P.s: “to churn out” has to be my phrase of the day. Although, this is only the second event where which I have used it today, I fore-see using it subsequently, and in a similar not-so-appropriate context [if you noticed].
All the best to us.

What has your name on it?

When we consider our name as our identity, then we think of it as what we are usually known/called by. It is also usually inferred that our names are to some extent, a reflection of us, and many also believe that names are prophetic: that we tend to become, or fulfill the significance/meaning of our names. If in the same vain, we consider our other (forms of) identity, like strengths/weaknesses, likes/dislikes, goals, aspirations etc, then we realize that these other forms can also play some roles in terms of whom we are becoming. Hence, they can also serve as what we are known or called by.

So, the questions are: “What has our names on them?”; “Are we identifying them?” ;”Are we attracting them?” In other words, “what requires our strengths/weaknesses/likes/dislikes etc?”, “are we identifying them to either build on them, or to stay away from them?”, “are we attracting them, or are we pointing them out as distractions that we have to stay away from?”

Do we even truly know what we stand for, or whom we are? What are our strengths/weaknesses etc? What makes us ‘tick’ and what does not? When are we usually at our best? Which skills are we excellent in? These also forms our identity. They become what we are called/known by. They help us discover purpose. They live after us after we are gone.

If we think about a few remarkable people that we know, we realize that it is usually as a result of what they have done. Interestingly, people’s actions are a reflection of whom they are- of their strengths, skills etc. Therefore, in living out all that we are to become in this year, can we sort out ourselves, then, try to attract what requires our attention and identity while staying away from what does not. I consider these to be drivers of priority, focus, purpose and of course, greatness. All the best to us in our endeavour for greatness.