“Hey, what’s up?” Chamy looked up from the women’s magazine she was flipping through to her elder brother that just bashed into her room and vigorously sat on her bed.
“What’s this I’m hearing about you and Rey?” he sternly asked and received a blank stare from her.
“That you don’t plan to have sex”
“Heard? From who biko?” she glared at him as though he suddenly grew horns.
“Diire…” he sighed.
Chamy took a little time to imagine how much of her discussion with her mother that her younger brother heard, and how he manages to eaves drop into every secret conversation.
“That sneaking rat” she thought.
“So… why?” her elder brother cut into her thoughts.
“Ebuka, leave me joo, this thing is the least of my concern now” she turned on the bed and flipped the magazine close.
“Biko, who considers marriage without considering sex… Chamy you need good direction” Ebuka pointed at a bible on her bed.
“It’s not like I’m not considering it, I’m not just hyped about the thing” Chamy got up and shut the door that her brother left open.
“I’m your brother and can help if I know the real issue”
“Don’t laugh, don’t scream, just listen and offer gentle solutions” she grinned at him, taking a seat at the end of her bed.
“Inukwa teaching me how to control my emotions… yes mother!” Ebuka took a pillow and made himself more comfortable.
Laughing, she took another pillow and stretched forth her legs to touch her brother.
“Nne, keep your legs to yourself” Ebuka shifted her legs off him.
“Please let me be free in my room…” she lifted them unto his laps.
He loosely tied up her legs with a scarf lying around and hung them on a coat hanger.
“Brutal boy” she laughingly shoved him away and set herself free.
Tying the scarf round the magazine she threw it on her brother, aiming for his head.
“Oya!” he dodged and caught the magazine like a skilled goal keeper.
“Why men just love sex a lot seems to escape me… and it’s too early to start talking about that, thank you” she spoke with arms at akimbo.
“And, he’s not happy when I say that, and I get unhappy that he’s not happy, then I feel pressured and I’m just… in short, I don’t know, whatever this sex talk is doing to our relationship is what really bothers me… but is it not just sex, we will have it come wedding, right?” she shrugged, sitting back on the bed with confused facial expressions.
“If it’s just sex then just talk about it… or you’ll die during the discussion?” Ebuka teased.
“Foolish boy!” she threw her pillow on him.
Catching it, he threw it back and shook his head; “I’ve always had a problem with that your school fellowship”
“My school fellowship has nothing to do with anything please” she stood in defence.
“Ok, so, you’re counting down in months and this is what you’re saying… so much for your sisters’ forums” he started towards the door.
“We don’t discuss sex in our forums…” she was saying but stopped at his unbelieving glare.
“What?… abeg stop looking at me like an alien” she waved him off.
“No… it’s not just you… your fellowship also… Aliens!” he furiously stomped off.
“I”ll just go and call your sisters, so I don’t have to repeat myself on this matter” he noted at the door.
“Diire, why should you be eaves dropping into conversations, especially when they don’t concern you?” Chamy harassed as Diire stepped into the room behind his elder sisters.
“What’s he even doing here… thought you said this is girls’ talk” Nenye glared at Ebuka.
“He’s here to help” Ebuka offered with a grin.
“This riff raff!” Dera accused unbelievably.
“The riff raff has something good to…” Dire started but Nenye and Dera rushed at him.
“Hold on na…” Ebuka blocked them, saving Diire’s ass from being whipped.
“This is a grown man… treat him as such” Ebuka drew his younger brother to his side and patted his shoulder.
“100 level for that matter!” Diire supported, prodding his chest in pride.
The two almost-twin sisters stared at each other in shock and shook their head in unbelief.
“Anyway…” Dera began to speak but was interrupted.
“Girls, let’s just hear this Men’s exclusive in peace… you can kill him later” Chamy sat between her younger sisters to prevent side comments.
“Firstly, don’t ever identify with Chamy’s kind of school fellowship” Ebuka drew his ears in mock-warning to his other sisters.
“Ndi oke ekpere” the sisters echoed in laughter.
Joining their laughter amidst Chamy’s indifference, Ebuka tapped the bible on the bed; “then always read the part that commands us to drink water from our own cisterns”
“That’s Proverbs… so continue” Chamy supported and four pairs of eyes bored into her in shock.
“What? Abeg stop looking like witches and wizards” she grinned mischievously.
“Thank God oh!” Ebuka cleared his throat and continued.
“When a guy wants to marry you, he wants to have sex with you, not just for procreation, but for pleasure… The Message translation style” Ebuka explained with a wink.
Diire lifted his hands in support and was nearly massacred by his furious sisters.
“Shut up there osiso!” Dera made to hit his head.
“Ihe nke a oh! Kai!” Nenye threw a pillow at him.
Laughing sporadically, Chamy calmed the sisters down and faced the fan to their direction as mock salvation.
Recovering from the word-attack, Diire defended himself; “I’ve not even spoken yet…” and his sisters beat him severally with their stone glares.
“What’s happening here?” Chizzy peeped into the room through the slightly opened door.
“Close the door” Ebuka said and Chizzy shut the door after he entered, and sat on Chamy’s bed.
Nenye and Dera exchanged glances in shock and Chamy introduced another erratic laughter that swept across the room, leaving Chizzy in great confusion.
“E don happen” Diire shrugged and Ebuka continued.
“I’ll just get up and leave” Dera threatened her elder brother.
“These things are what guys start to discover as they grow” Ebuka tried to appease the girls.
“JSS1?” Nenye flared up in unbelief.
“Girls! Stop living in denial…” Ebuka stressed, stomping the bed.
“Ok, I’ll just leave” Chizzy lifted innocent hands and walked out of the door.
“Can Diire follow suit?” Dera whispered and Diire stuck out his tongue at her, behind Ebuka.
“Let me just conclude” Ebuka lifted his hands for decorum.
“Virginity also means that we will have sex with our husbands and our wives… simply, if you want to marry, you’ll have sex and if you don’t want to have sex, stay single, like Paul”
“Is it that Chamy doesn’t want to have sex with Rey” Diire winced.
“Is that not your gossip line?” Chamy nudged him off her bed.
“Shacking paracetamol for another man’s headache” Dera hit him with a pillow.
“As in eh… this kind of gbaza queen boy” Nenye snapped her fingers at him.
“But Chamy, you’re too sweet for this talk… hope you’re joking sha” Diire shrugged and sat down back on the bed, indifferent to his sisters comments.
“Bros, relax and control your hormones” Ebuka nudged his younger brother.
“No, don’t control it, be jumping from pant to pant at seventeen” Dera accused.
“I’m still a virgin oh…I’m just trying to help my naïve sisters” Diire grinned.
“Good negligence to bad rubbish” Nenye hissed at Diire and continued to Chamy.
“Nne, just graciously continue with the sex talk with our husband… and please add all the shakara involved, don’t mind these heavy testosterone carriers here” she winked at Ebuka and gave Diire the evil-eye.
“Na real heavy testosterone carriers” Dera fell in laughter.
Shaking his head, Ebuka continued; “At least you girls understand what I’m trying to say”
“We know more than you, thank you” Dera offered and headed towards the door.
“Thanks for the reminder though” Nenye winked and followed Dera.
Exchanging glances, both girls rushed for Diire and dragged him with them out off the room.
“With this your high sex drive, you’ll soon start sleeping around” Dera accused Diire as they walked the corridor.
“He won’t” Nenye defended to Diire’s shock.
“Amen oh!” Dera raised her hands in supplication.
“Seriously, he won’t, he’s greater than that” Nenye affirmed.
“Thanks sis for your trust in me… I’m encouraged” Diire responded soberly.
“Better trust yourself too… and help yourself abstain” Dera chided.
“Leave this boy jare…” Nenye dragged her sister to another room.
“But do you think it’s immature to shy away from this discussion with him?” Chamy asked.
“I think you should listen to what he has to say” Ebuka shrugged.
“I just wished he could wait for the time during our marriage course” Chamy shrugged.
“You’d even have the opportunity to also speak your mind” he added.
“Abi you’re scared it would lead you guys on before time?” he stared at her.
“I just thought he was being too forward so I tried to delay the talk” she smiled and kicked him.
“Hmmmm… always be considerate oh!” he got up from the bed.
“All the best… and don’t be over-spiri” he headed for the door.
“Thanks dear and it’s not a spiri thing biko” she laughed.
*inukwa(imagine) Ndi oke ekpere(over zealous Christians) osiso(quickly) “Ihe nke a oh!(this kind of thing!)