When jokes get expensive, and a friend erroneously hurts you, how do you react? Do you get mad and edgy, or laugh it off like it never happened? Recently, a friend hurt me, but being the wonderful person that he is, he turned around and apologized! What of friends that never apologize? How do you handle the friendship thenceforth?
Many factors can be considered here:
First, I’m not one to be offended by non-friends, not even acquaintances. Why? Because I just ‘excuse’ them through the ” you don’t even know me” line. But when I open my heart to you (as a friend), you can hurt me over and over again.
What about you?
Second, I always consider myself to be kind, and to easily (forgive) and forget when a friend hurts me. May be that’s why when this particular friend (as mentioned above) hurt me, I tried to laugh the pain away. However, the more I tried to suppress the pain, the more it ate deeper.
Third, the more I read meanings into the action of the hurt, the ‘hurter’ I became. I groomed the wings of the pain so much so that, as light as the action of the hurt was, the many devious meanings inwhich I read into one tiny action blew and expanded the boundaries of the pain.
Fourth, immediately I opened up, I received the choice to either forgive or to bear a grudge. At this point I realized how ‘unsaintly’ I am when, as the guy (casually) apologized, I kept welcoming imaginations and reasons why I should let him feel a brunt of the pain- AKA why I shouldn’t forgive.
Fifth, the more I covered up the depth of the pain, the more I confused him on ‘what the issue really was’. This is bad because, it means taking the opportunity to ‘right a wrong’ from the offender. It was worse for me because it increased my chances of ‘not forgiving’.
Sixth, every moment of indecision in whether to forgive or not mattered, and increased my chances of not forgiving. As he kept saying sorry, I kept being offended because I felt the apology was so casual, and should be cast into the pit.
Seventh, I uttered careless words (like “you’ll not see me again”) in the process of ‘vexing’ and prolonging forgiveness. Thinking about it now, the words weren’t necessary (and sound so childish… Lol).
Eighth, though I still felt like not forgiving, I decided to forgive, and voiced it out, and this helped me. No! The pains didn’t immediately fly away, but I was able to tame/control/influence how I felt about the hurt, and I arrived at a new frame of mind.
And because of the power in ‘spoken words’ I was able to ‘liberate’ my ‘offender’.
Ninth, the offender, my friend, is a wonderful person. He came around, days later, when the pains were miraculously healing; just to talk about ‘the issue’ and to sincerely apologize. Awwww… I felt like one favoured person + he earned more respect from me + the healing process automatically COMPLETED.
Tenth, what if he didn’t return to ‘perfect’ the ‘disappearing of the pain’?
So, what about you?
How do you handle hurts from a friend?
Are you ‘the’ wonderful friend that perfects issues when you’re in the wrong?!
NB: God bless my friends… and every other person!