What has happened since the decision to pray for my husband?

>> Before we resume, let’s take a minute to celebrate this blog: today’s my WordPress anniversary… 5years ago, today, I did my first post after thinking about it for many days… Story about me and overthinking things will come later… So, happy 5years to speakingdnd.wordpress.com , which has now changed names from Sweet Baby Speaks to @dnddyon’s, and which has now changed from an anonymous blog to a personal blog (we are coming out ‘small-small’, haha)! Many blessings and many greater exploits! You shall excel for ever!

So, what has happened since my decision to pray for my husband? I’ve done about 10 rounds, ranging from tabling my fears/anxieties about/towards this man to projecting my hopes and expectations in his favour and in favour of our relationship. 10 rounds also mean that I’ve not been very consistent as it’s been over 10 days since I made the decision. But I’m very much committed to remaining and growing in this journey…

Honestly, I’ve been swamped a lot with busy-ness these days that I’ve sincerely lost track of other legitimate things also worthy of doing… but thankfully, I’m now committed (again, even more fiercely, I dare say) to being in charge of my days/life and being responsible and not allowing it get swamped in busy-ness, as there will always be some deadline to meet- always! So, I’m taking it from where it should begin: I and God in the beginning, and every other thing following, so that I get to do everything else that I have to do, including sharing my stories with you.

Something beautiful however happened since my decision to pray for the husband: I met someone- not the Mr., but some lovely woman who has helped me pace myself somewhat practically with this journey to knowing/seeing/finding the Mr., and who also believes that this Mr. is someone I already know… It’s been very interesting and practical- we’ve done a lot of interesting assignments- some of which I considered vain and out of character for me, but of which I did regardless and also submitted in time!

>> If you know me in person, and send me a Private Chat (PC) (nicely), I COULD share ONE ‘vain’ experience with you…

I’m however grateful for meeting this woman, more grateful for how it happened, and most grateful for the fruits that this meeting has borne- she was, and still is, an answer to my prayers. What is however interesting is that we didn’t know this immediately. It started as a random conversation: we disagreed, albeit politely, on a post in a Whatsapp group, and then took it to PC so as to really talk about our points of disagreements and gain understanding from each other. It was a conversation that I was almost certain that the right point to stand with was where I stood and was consequently taken aback to find someone standing on the other end so tenaciously; thus, I was really willing to learn about  her reasons for standing so, which I did, and for which I respect her for. But what was interesting was that at the end of the lengthy (now personal) conversation via PC, I realized that we simply had to meet because of me and not because of her stories…

>> A lot more to say about this, but I’d just cut it short with this: the answers to your prayers are very within reach even though they may not originally look like it

I know this should have made a better blog title, haha… but you see, all of this happened since I decided to start praying for my husband… because, what I left out in this story is the fact that that conversation on our Whatsapp group kinda ensued after I had shared on the same whatsapp group my lengthy narrative of praying for my husband.

So, what decision do you have to take right now to speed up the answers to your prayers?

All the very best to you!

I am @dnddyon on Insta and Twitter (in case you’ll like to hook up with me)

Also, let me know in the comments what you think… Share with friends, let me know what they think too… let’s have Prayer-Answering conversations together.

If there’s anything at all that you’ll like me to talk about, also let me know; I could take up the challenge.

God bless us all.

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Praying For the husband

My earliest memory of this was with the Stormie Omartian’s “Power of a Praying Wife”…
I stumbled unto this book as a teenager/young adult and couldn’t understand why I should be praying for a husband so early in life- like I couldn’t just get it (even though I was already about 18 years) – like, for someone that was busy living his life and enjoying himself? I’d ‘pause’ my life and be praying for him? “I’d pass, please!”… and that was simply what I did… passed without remorse 😃

And with neither any ounce of carefulness nor notice, the phrase “someone that was busy living his life and enjoying himself…” stuck in my heart and arose (in my defense) whenever the mention of “pray for your husband” came up…

And I didn’t realize how much that stuck until recently…

But before recently,

Sometimes in 2014/15, a very hilarious preacher friend (Debola Deji- Kurunmi, by the way, if you need to follow her, as her sense of humour is above 100, yo!), once shared a story about men who bought their babes “Power of a Praying Wife” as gifts… To that, I just imagined myself UNRECEIVING such a gift very gallantly! I imagined rolling my eyes, running my mouth and tossing the book right back to the Mr 😃…
And my ideology was simple: why would you make a gift for me about you? Like why buy me a gift of a prayer book for you?
I thought that was selfish…

But Debola’s story wasn’t about me, so I just laughed and believed not to be in such women’s shoes…

Then in Sept 2016, I invited myself 😁 to this ‘sleek’ (or so I thought) women’s prayer meeting in this very great church- not TEC (with my fav female pastors ministering) and everything was alright until this very sleek-model like- athletic- FINE woman came to lead us in a prayer point for “our husbands’ sexuality”- and she was passionately dishing out real concerns (as confessions) – “he will not see any other woman but me… he will find me sexually attractive etc”- and I thought that was insane 😳

Firstly, I was lit confused,
Like, this fine woman, with her highest quality human hair – like, why would a sane man want something else?
Unfortunately, I made it about her, cos she took it VERY PERSONAL!
Then I became angry- like why would he make her pomp and sweat like this all in the name of prayer??? Then I grew embarrassed as the church filled with women burst into this prayer point unabashed. I asked myself, if someone walked into this room now and asked why we were all wailing? Why? ‘the other woman’? 😃

Me, I just jeje sit daan dey look, as I cannot come and go and kill myself by myself…

But then again, what is wrong with praying for his sexuality? Like, that he’s sound and healthy in mind and body and sexually? Nothing of course…

Then in May, a dear friend of mine invited me for this DOPE prayer event for girls, which I thoroughly enjoyed and I thought changed my life…
But for the last prayer point, which I thought was disturbing: the same series of bumping of fist against strange women for the husband… 

Let’s just say that I couldn’t get myself to do that prayer, so I zoned out…

I have  however also started catching bouquets at my friends’ weddings… 😁like, I made it a point of duty to catch the bouquets. .. I set it as a goal! 🙌🏽 I’m going for your wedding? I’m catching your bouquet (it was as simple as that) 😉… I remember a particular situation where I struggled with one grooms’ man for bouquet! 😳Didn’t realize that men caught bouquet too until then…
ALL FOR FUN
ALL FOR FUN
ALL FOR FUN
(at least I can convince myself that that was the case 😁)

I also hijacked my friend’s bridal shower sash (and crown) after moderating her shower… I literally bullied her for it. After all, what more did she need them for? 🤷🏽‍♀

So, why? So I can decorate my space with a little bit of drama… but unknowingly to me, I had unintentionally created a bride-to-be vision board, literally… 😳
And if you know anything that happens with vision boards, you over see it until you start becoming it… 😃

And that happened… 🤣

And I realised that like play like play I had joined the “prayer for husband” segment… finally 😟
Cos, really, wedding bouquets + bride-to-be sash in your space, and you’re claiming that “it’s not that serious”?
Who is deceiving whom? 🤷🏽‍♀🤷🏽‍♀🤷🏽‍♀

So, recently, a few days ago, a female friend asked me about praying for my husband. Actually, she asked with the assumption that I was already deep into praying for my husband (as per the serious Christian sister wey I be 🤣🤷🏽‍♀), and was basically trying to know what my prayer was focused around, and then I realized that somehow, that 18years old girl’s idea of not praying for “a man busy living his life and enjoying himself…” was still etched in my mind…
And sincerely, I told her, “see ehn, every time, I say I will pray for my husband, but almost immediately I do not! I forget, and also never take it that serious”
And that was when I realized that God had started working on my heart already…
(this is a testimony-story after all 😁)
Because, I immediately remembered that a male friend had asked me that same question earlier this year, and I literally rolled my eyes at him, like, why do you men feel so entitled?
Maybe it was because he was a guy, or that I knew him and felt that certain things I knew about him would even add to my reasons for not praying for any husband, or both…

But, as I continued the Prayer for husband discussion with this other female friend, I started realizing the importance of women praying for their husbands… primarily of which is for ourselves 🤷🏽‍♀: You’ll begin to see clearly the areas of help you are to proffer unto this man’s life (and how competent (as a life skill) you can become in that and use it in other life spheres, like, in business for instance 😁)…
For instance, as you pray for his career, your mind begins to grow towards that area and you begin to see how exactly you can function  greatly in that career-area etc…

Now, does he deserve your prayers? Good question! If you have the kind of male friends that I have, you’ll realize that many a times, guys can be a pain in the ass, literally, and should merit no prayers from you whatsoever!

How about women? You? Do you deserve to be prayed for? Yes? Exactly? And many (if not all of the time) I for one am ALWAYS UNAPOLOGETICALLY a pain in their assess too (it’s intentional sometimes, I like trouble shey? 😁)…

Las las, See ehn, all children of God deserve to be prayed for already…

This world can be hard, and some good prayers will do!
So, how about a sincere prayer of “God, see ehn, this boy, I can like to break his head based on how he annoys me, but if you bless him, I’ll benefit 🤷🏽‍♀, so please… just be blessing him like that”
Or how about you start realizing that you really really want your husband to be successful in heaven and on earth… listen deep down to your heart, that’s what you want regardless of how put off you may be right now…

In conclusion,
Pray for your husband! (simple 😁)
That man needs your prayers more than you know. Pray for his heart to love God more, for his career to blossom etc etc (and for fly to enter his eyes when he is looking at another woman’s bom bom, lol 💅🏽… don’t worry, God won’t answer this 😁… he’d just laugh and get the point…)

So, that my other female friend agreed to be my accountability partner in this praying for your husband business…
Basically, we agreed to remind each other to pray for our husbands, starting this past Monday. This conversation and agreement happened on Sunday night, and in all honesty, by Monday noon, I had almost forgotten about it (understandable, right? It’s a new business afterall 😃…) and even when I remembered, and started, I was CLUELESS 🤣: no prayer point came to my mind… I just kept repeating “I commit my husband into your hands” through out 🤷🏽‍♀… (that should serve I guess), lol.

But yesterday (day 2), I woke up ready to pray, and the ghen- ghen prayer point dropped: no other slay Queen permitted! 💃🏽… and my people, that’s how I went from a zero to a hero in this prayer for husband business, Lmao! 🤣
Maybe, it’ll sound better if I add that I wasn’t sweating or crying about it, or that I was rather laughing hard at myself at that Prayer point…
Actually, I’m still laughing at myself about it, which is very fair considering that I had once laughed/mocked the same idea… lol 😂

So, what’s up? I decided to share this journey with people like me who are genuinely/sincerely UNREADY to ‘kill’ themselves about this praying for husband business, who would rather pray for a better Nigeria, who would rather pray for the second coming of Christ etc etc… take a chill pill and calm down… 😃😃😃 (the world will still be better… but who else but you to accurately pray for your husband? )
You know why again? Except you are not following God for real, you’ll sit down one day and find yourself praying in tongues for that man- going from a zero to a hundred in minutes… 😂
If there is nothing I have learnt from this process, at least, I have learnt to be humble! I have learnt to come with my stubbornness and drop it at God’s feet to resume in humility the task in front of me

So, will you join me in this journey?

For me, my prayer points are usually personal, as I’m letting it flow from within me in staying very true to my heart desires and leading by the Holy spirit…

So, am I about to start jumping and breaking in serious physical sweat in this prayer for husband business? 😃 That’s a bit out of my personality, so I don’t think so. But should you? If it’s you, why not…

So, be at least encouraged to consider it some more…
But by all means don’t laugh at me (or you can laugh sef… I’m already laughing at myself 😃)… but please, don’t ever laugh at other women doing it (if you have been, repent 😁), because your turn dey come: who knows, you may be leading a far more interesting related prayer session tomorrow in Shiloh 🤣…

So, that’s it fam… let us hang out together and pray for our men, so that when they hammer we will be very very entitled to the proceeds (but of course 😁)!
God bless us all!

 

 

God’s Sense of Humour in a Lady’s Man-situationships

I was reminded yesterday while listening to someone speak, that God’s dealing with us (as ladies) in man-situationships may not be all that serious anyway. Not that the issues raised thereby will be irrelevant, but they may not be as serious as we take them to be.

The particular scenario narrated by the speaker was one in which after you (as a lady) have eventually struggled to accept a man as a potential mate [a struggle which has happened because you ordinarily would not like this kind of man], then you realize that this man wasn’t yours in the first place. Then the question becomes, “why then did God let me go through this entire struggle?” According to the speaker, God may have just been interested in breaking you out of the mold of specs and restrictions and not necessarily in getting you hooked up with a man. This means that God’s-real-work in the matter would have just been to teach you to open up your heart to possibilities different from your different expectations from life.

I could immediately relate!

The first man-scenario that flashed through my mind was the one in which I had to learn to say no. So, here comes Mr A (for the purpose of this write-up) insisting that I was his according to God’s divine will. I was totally unconvinced, and wouldn’t go through initially, but I began to reconsider my stance, and was almost willing to go through with marrying him just because he persisted, wore me down, and wouldn’t let me be. Thankfully however, with the help of family and friends, I was strong enough to stand by my No and didn’t follow through with marrying him. The lesson for me from this was my realization that the entire deal for me with the situation was to grow my will to say no and/or to stand my ground through circumstances regardless of how ‘divinely-orchestrated’ they appeared to be, and this lesson has been useful to me in different ramifications of my life.

The second scenario that played through my mind was one in which I had to learn that the man I’d love to be with may not necessarily appear in the form I’d ordinarily love him to be in. In this instance, I and Mr. W (again, for the purpose of this write up) connected on major life levels. In fact, we connected immediately we spoke the first words to each other. It was surreal: I had never expected that just like that, there’d be this one person that totally naturally/easily gets me! I loved it. But that was all: because, he didn’t look like I would have loved my man to look on the outside, I never recognized that he actually cared for me (and wanted me) beyond ordinary friendship. So, it took me a lot of struggling with God in accepting how different my expectations in appearance was from what was in front of me. And after it appeared that I was now in a good place to follow through with “the love of my life (who super gets me, lol)”, dear Mr. W moved on, and wasn’t interested anymore! I was the most confused at this point: I felt God had played me, hahahahah! But after I came around with how God’s dealings with us in this earth are actually accompanied with great of sense of humour, I chilled-out greatly, lol. Out of this particular experience, I learnt humility! I learnt to step down from my high horse, and I learnt to open my heart to God for every possibility.

These two scenarios are instances of God choosing to show up differently in my life and help me experience some real life lessons: you know, those lessons that you can never forget?!

In essence therefore, when it appears that as a lady, you’re going through man-drama/situationships, just chill out; it may not be that deep, it may be God trying to teach you one or two or more life lessons that will help you in other aspects of your life.

To humans that freely give

When you locate one

Locate the other

Or is it not free giving anymore?

Is there something else?

Do you want something in return?

 

Why buy her a car for nothing and not her neighbor?

Or were you led by the spirit?

And which spirit exactly?

Only leading to the same person at all times?

 

If it is free

Make it accessible by all

Share it randomly

 

If it is not

Be true to yourself

And state it as it is

 

In a world of so much hardship

Free gifts are mostly welcome

And very much appreciated

With many blessings in return

 

If you therefore have good means and a lot of money

Bless others with it

And you’ll be blessed in return

But don’t use it as a cover for mischief

 

 

 

Becoming Undone

“It was her hair that got him to marry her?”

“How magical was the hair?”

“Isn’t that supposed to be so trivial… here today and gone tomorrow?”

“People must really be getting married for very crazy reasons!”

And she continued to consider the funny details of the story she had  just heard- about the man whose reason for choosing a bride was because she had the loveliest hair ever…

“But then, what if there was more to what he had revealed?”

“What if it was more than the hair?”

“Perhaps she was equally good, and smart, and tender hearted…?”

“How did the story teller even get to know these details?”

And she pondered some more, concluding that it really wasn’t her business, nor in her place to determine people’s reasons for their choices. She could pray instead for the man and his marriage, but she chose not to, preferring that people learnt to accept the consequences of their choices.

But then she began to look inwards, to ask herself if she wasn’t equally currently making any choice that people would consider insane. Her recent desire to relocate houses suddenly hit her, and she began to ask herself new questions- why really did she prefer this new place? Yes, it was beautiful and serene and of a good neighbourhood; but was there anything more substantial? She began to remember her uncle’s insistence that she finds a solid reason for house relocation or to remain in her current habitation.  She had fought with him, and accused him for lacking good taste in good things. She had let him know that she’d feel better and gain more in this new place she intended to move into. But her uncle had insisted that one could feel, and actually be better living anywhere, and being “of a good neighbourhood” shouldn’t be her (or anyone else’s) primary reason for shifting base. He had asked her to come up with written substantial reasons or forget about moving base. She had ignored him, primarily because she could very much afford the house without his assistance.  But she loved her uncle, and very much respected his wisdom, and in the light of this story of the man who she learnt had married because of the hair of a woman, whom she had also almost despised, she began to consider the fact that she may equally be in the same boat with him in this her desire to relocate houses just for the sake of convenience.

She subconsciously began to utter prayers for guidance over her choices, and surprisingly, over the man she had no idea who he was, whom she had also initially refused to pray for. She then realized the great blessings of having people like her uncle who would always stick their head out to see to the betterment of other humans. She began to appreciate him the more, and decided to sit in that day and produce a list of substantial reasons why she would (or not) be shifting base.

 

Establishing boundaries

What should our boundaries be; from relationships to career, to finances, to social life, and every other aspect of life? How much should we exert into things, how should we apportion these, and how much should we let be exerted from us? What should be off limits at different times, what should be accommodated? For instance, as a student, it is usually said that the focus and primary call should be/is working towards excelling in studies; thus, every other thing becomes secondary. In a similar light, what should be primary and secondary in our lives?

It is right for us to start with working on our time usage. Important is the need to imbibe the consciousness that we all have the same 24 hours a day and to only take what we can appropriately ‘chew’ within this time. It may seem weird and a bit off that time is first called to mind when talking about boundaries, but time still remains our most valuable resource, and time-consciousness and value will ever influence our choice of activities. It is within this choice of activities that the call for setting boundaries comes to play. What then follows?

Next is to know what matters. What is important? What is urgent? What is priority? Necessary questions to ask are, “in this season of my life, what am I set to achieve?” “why am I in this stage of life?” “who should I become from this season?” Asking these questions (and more) will draw our minds towards the need for priority and will help us choose the appropriate activities that consequently bring to pass our expectations and desired results. In re-discovering priorities, we then start to know what should be primary and then, secondary. When we know what is primary, and secondary then we work towards putting off limits what should be, and keying into beneficial activities.

So, for a Christian single girl for instance, who has all the ‘unmarried’ time to be totally sold out to God, and to become the best version of herself [without the total responsibility of/for family], her goals should be channeled towards these directions, and based on these, she’d work out what should be accommodated and what should be off limits. She’d set her priorities right and learn to set boundaries around, and protect, and consequently achieve her goals.

Every one of us should therefore continuously work towards setting boundaries to protect and to help us achieve the goals of the different stages of our lives.

To the boys and girls that won’t let go

Sticking up doesn’t always produce desired results

Letting go may be more beneficial

More excellent

And more spiritual

 

If he says no

If she says no

Let go

If she returns…

If he returns…

Beautiful

But don’t waste your time

And do not make them look bad

For not answering the way you’d have loved

Do not guilt trip

 

You do not want to be managed after all

You want to be loved

You deserve love

Why not give love a chance

Pushing and prodding one who isn’t interested will rob you of the love you so desire

It will stress you and effect damages